Obviously, I am not a fan of winter sports. The impracticality of it gets on my bloody nerves. I once went to a winter resort with my girlfriend and it was one of the most unpleasant experiences in my life. People are obnoxious and elitist and the atmosphere is goddamn awful. Everybody is talking about ski resorts as if they’re perfect places for partying and getting laid which in reality couldn’t be more far from truth.
First, I want to make one thing clear. In reality, there are no places on this shitty planet where there is a higher probability that you will get laid. When I was young and stupid, I used to hang around dudes who would pick this one night club on the assumption there are more easy hot chicks than anywhere else in town. This type of reasoning is flawed because if you’re already a guy who thinks about having sex in percentages then nothing can help you get laid. Same goes about people who think ski resorts are actually snow fucking orgies. Admittedly, a lot of people at the ski resort I visited were on cocaine most of the time but that just made them even more intolerable. Cocaine is a hell of a drug, but a huge amount of world’s supply is consumed by an army of douchebags who happen to like skiing, as immortalized by the Dutch rapper Faberyayo in one of his videos.
This brings me to another point. Being that it is winter and it is cold, people at ski resorts wear all kinds of crappy and cumbersome clothes. I can’t stand that sort of shit. The noise all those winter jackets with shitty colors make actually causes cancer or some shit. When all those shitty colors overlap in a crowded space is worse than bad trips on acid. And I haven’t even got to mention the fucking skis. People who stand with skis in each of their hands look like they’re actually holding two dicks which I think we can all agree is a pretty disgusting image.
Everything is bloody expensive at ski resorts, especially alcoholic beverages which, to a certain degree, explains why partying is shit. Even though I was with my girlfriend and didn’t pay much attention to other women, I couldn’t help but notice that man: woman ratio was like 6:1. We met some couple at the store and they invited us to some party and since we were beginning to get bored of the snow we agreed to join them. I wish we talked to them for longer than 5 minutes so I could determine whether I can stand their company. Turned out they were an irate couple of bastards who present themselves as people whose most important choice in life is that they prefer winter vacations to the summer sort. What a bunch of twats. So, don’t do skiing. Ever.
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